tap tap... uh... is this thing on?

Hi. Are you still out there? WOW. It's been a really long time. . . over a year and a half. I started referring to this "blogging" thing as something I once did. Then today, I ran in to check the internet to see if there was something that was/is the opposite of misophonia, which is the intolerance of small sounds like the sound of someone chewing. We talk about this from time to time, as my mate... I wanna say "suffers" from this... it is a medical condition (come to find). So, I was curious about whether or not there was something on the other end of the spectrum, like a fetish for those sounds. I stumbled upon a really cool, well written blog about the condition and a few comments about the opposite. I love the world wide web! Every weird, extreme, obscure thing in the entire world and that rare moment when you type something into the search engine and it isn't there! This has become a sort of game for us. I love to try to think of the thing that has never been searched for. I love to imagine that somewhere, in googleland, when you type in the thing thats never been typed in... a small, geeky group with white lab coats goes "oh, ahhhhh!" and, for one brief moment, recognize you as the genius.

What? a new post?

Yeah, you read it. I've had a beer, I'm on vacation and I'm writing a post, so read it. Won't you? Today is, well, Tuesday. Let's see... so, the last post was March 3? I was so excited about Marching fourth that I just started living and living and not typing or writing... I suppose. Today is June 28th, it's a Tuesday, though it might as well be a Sunday because I am on vacation. I spent this day like it was a Sunday, cleaning house, listening to NPR, Ben and baby on bike far away (but not too far away). All is well and calm and, thanks be to me and my freedom, clean. There is nothing like the moment when it's all done and all the little piles are put away and I do one more walk through and all is in it's place, including me...exhale... ahhhh.....

And the award goes to...

Drumroll... Oh, thank you... Thank you... I just want to thank my friends and family. Ben, I couldn't have done it without you... My amazing daughter who teaches me, everyday, to slow down. Ahhh, my neighbors and friends for giving us an amazing place to root down. God in everything... That's nice. But most of all, I'd like to thank the actress that plays the roll of me everyday to the outside world... Without her, I'd just be.

Pâtisserie

Lifes a Beach... then you bake croissants.

standing at my kitchen sink, staring out the window...

Wondering what will happen in the future... dreaming, hoping... planning? But, not so much. I realize that I am just one of many centuries of women who have stood at their kitchen sink, staring out the window, wondering about the future. Then it comes to me that maybe one difference is that I know I am one of that group. I have the grand picture. I have seen myself standing at that window from somewhere out in the yard. From where I'm standing, it looks pretty peaceful.

adorable the explorable...

Lately my girl and I have been exploring... new parts of our neighborhood (well, new to us), new tastes and sounds and, maybe most fascinating, new parts of us, our relationships. Chloe and I are usually hanging out like homegirls. She is truly my best friend. I gave birth to my favorite friend. Ben and I too, we're doing the dance. Definitely in an upswing... we are supporting without thwarting. Having fun is a top priority. It's nice to remember (and be reminded) that we don't have it all figured out. Wouldn't it be boring if we did? This is the good work. Learning to be with each other while remaining so in ourselves. Remembering that Chloe is her own, individual too and not getting in her way too much while keeping her safe. Teaching things, but always open to learning her way too. She definitely came here with things to show me. I'm watching, sweetheart!

Where was I...

oh yeah... so, it was September... and since then... my girl turned 3, I got super comfortable riding with her on my bike (game changer), Halloween... what else... well, anyhow, this night finds me mostly just GRATEFUL (as per usual). Yesterday was the second year anniversary of the Tea Fire and we called an impromptu get together at our place, so impromptu (in fact) that hardly anyone showed, which made it super intimate and cozy. With all our sweet friends sitting around a fire in the yard, I snuck in to do the dishes and as I scrubbed each one I gave thanks. So grateful to have this fork to wash and the soap and the sink. Last night I got to sleep in a bed, our bed, and Chloe in hers. My family has a home right now, an amazingly sweet (and getting sweeter by the day) home. Our things are here, we have things. We are healthy and fed and have sweet friends in our yard... My heart is full to bursting! Fire and I have a better relationship this year. I respect it. It warms me. I tend it, it cooks my food. We have an understanding. For that I am eternally grateful.