end of summer sizzle...

This weekend was just super sweet. Friday afternoon all our friends met at the beach. We called it not just happy hour, but ecstatic hour! About 20 or so, with beautiful babies and amazing foods and drinks. Saturday morning there was some garage saleing (sailing) and again to the beach. This time the kids built a brilliant bamboo fort. With a little more forethought this time we had sandwiches and more snacks. We stayed into the evening. Sunday morning was a midmorning frisbee game followed by an afternoon SURPRISE party. All in all, one of the sweetest weekends in a long time. Full of loving friends, family moments and a general love for our beauty filled life. 

It's like a heat wave...

wow. It's the end of summer heat wave and it's totally hot! This sunflower to your left is from our lovely friend Aly, brought over by our other lovely friend, Cara. She came for a send-off-again dinner on tuesday... Today is so hot my brain is having a hard time thinking of things. I'm going to go dunk it in the ocean.

Siblinks

I truly believe that people hold, through life, the position they are given with their siblings when they are kids. This explains why I get punked and suckered quite often... I'm a little sister. The littlest sister role is what I play. My husband, an older brother, the oldest brother... usually does said punking. Often, if you'll notice, leaders and people in power roles are older if not the oldest sibling. This makes the role of an only child really unique. They either get in where they fit in and become a special snowflake or don't and become an oddball.. Either way, I think Chloë will handle herself beautifully. She already plays along, even when she doesn't get it. 

adding "auntie" to the list

Just received word that my lovely sis and her husband Marty are adding "Auntie" to my list of "things to be"! Yay! I am going to spend the next few months trying to remember all the little things from that time with Chloë to share with her... but mostly just listen. It will be so amazing to get to see it all up close from an outside perspective. I cannot wait to meet him or her! 

cleanin' house

Today seems to be mostly about cleaning our tiny space faster than Chloë can destroy it. Right now she is taking a little midday nap, so I think I might win!

Hi "everybuddy"

Chloë coined this word today... everybuddy! I love it. She used it all day long. We drove about an hour north on the coast to a beautiful butter bean farm of a friends mother and family. Said friend was having the sweetest bridal shower, complete with the most delectable little finger sandwiches. I will find out what was in those and report back. We saw cows and horses and so many other little kids. It was a super sweet way to spend a sunday afternoon.

*update* the little finger sandwiches were:

Chicken, Goat Cheese, Walnuts and Cranberries. That's it. Mix till mixed. Put on best wheat bread. Eat and go to heaven.

beautiful book, keeping me up late

That Miranda July. Her and her beautiful book. It was like a newborn baby the way I couldn't set it down for a moment. Her truths. Her simple, real way of sharing these, at once, amazing and ordinary stories. It was like I got to hang out for awhile in her exquisitely decorated, modern brain with her ever interesting, mostly lesby legs... I mean... friends.

yesterday I forgot, so today I'll make up for it...

Yesterday was mostly about building the perfect fort... and the key is, according to our tiny friend Charlie "make it stable" (Charlie is only two and says "make it stable" as clear is if he were fifty two) (on another side note, Charlie is 100% awesomeness). If you'll notice in photo #1, the pillows on the bed side of the blanket are used to stabilize the blanket. The other end is then tucked into the chair (turned backwards for height). Snacks go inside the tent cause "snacks are for the picnic in the cave". Mamas do fit in there, in case you were wondering.

So, then today was really kind of magical (as fridays often are). It started with the breakfast with the ladies (as fridays often do), then the laundry mat to put stuff in the wash, then pick up Chloë and back to mat for a flip to the dryer, then pick up grandma and grandpa at their RV and back to pick up the clean clothes. Next it was a long, sweet, slow walk... just Chloë, Mama and grandma. After, we all joined forces again and came home to make a perfect dinner of Chicken, salad and amazing Bennymade soup. Around sixish all our most loved folks met at the rose garden for some frisbee tossing, champagne and sweet stuff. The only down fall was a serious fall down (by me and my silly ass knees). So, it was home for a long foot soak and more wine. Now everyone is happy and sleepy and ready for sweet, sweet dreaming. Goodnight!

getting back to grateful

Please see ancient carving of man with Cacao pod. Oh, blessed Cacao pod and all your inner beauty. 

So, yesterday there was a general F off attitude in the air around me. It's passed, as things do, and the general gratefulness has returned...

So, things causing said gratefulness are including, but not limited to:

1. Sparkling mineral water, sparkling drinks in general

2. the ability to walk. I try to stay consciously grateful for this always.

3. sunshine, a day without sunshine would be, well, night

4. insights, both simple and profound

5. the tiny, miracle human I grew in my insides and pushed out 22 months ago

Also, Chloë and I went for a long walk in the sunshine and that could change just about anyones perspective. If you disagree, I might suggest a long walk in the sunshine.

dream performance art piece...

Sometimes people ask me "so, you're husband is an artist, are you also an artist?" and here is my dream response: "yes, mine's more performance type art, this is a piece i've been working on called Interest".

Banana Octopus

This is a magical fruit friend. He is simple to make. His eyes are made of raisins and popcorn kernels. We've named him "Babaleelee". His cut out parts were delicious. Chloë found him more fascinating than any of her other friends... for about five minutes. Then, he went to live in the garden. Forever.

also, the gratefulness...

1. Raisins

2. Frisbee games

3. Hot beverages on cold mornings

4. cold beverages on hot afternoons

5. this little family I get to play Mom for

what today was mostly about...

Sleepy, foggy Sunday morning... In pajamas tiptoe (not to wake Chloë) out to get my Sunday N.Y. Times... as I am reaching for the latch on the gate my neighbor opens it and hands me the paper... lovely start to what was a perfectly lovely day. The tiptoeing didn't work, which turned out to be fine seeing as how she was smiling and saying "good morning" to us over and over. "What did you dream about?" "um...Mommy and ummm, Daddy and umm, Baby, and ummm..." So heartwarmingly cute. We all got ready, had some sips of coffee and out the door to Oakleigh (a family of friends property where our community meets for frisbee games and such) for a sunday morning game. Everyone had their game faces (smiles) on and all giddy and well slept. A sweet morning although Benzo hurt his leg. Then back home for some napping. When she woke the second time we headed off in the stroller for a long walk and short shop for almond butter (a necessity) and a lolli (I gave in). Chloë took a fall on her finally, freshly healed knee so she had a long soak in the sink. Papa made lentils with coconut milk... yes. We, lastly, but not leastly, went on a late night walk so Benny could buy some bike off a craigslist ad. He ended up buying both the guy was selling so we walked back home with a baby in a stroller and two bikes looking like a couple of cracked out, breeding, bicycle thieves. We got home all safely and soundly and with no more injuries to type of. Watched the rest of the "Daily Show" (also a necessity) and went down for a snuggle. Chloë is sleeping, Benny is painting, I am typing and all is right with the world. Goodnight!

catch up...

So, I haven't been keeping up with that whole "what I eat" thing, probably for the best. But will keep up with the "oh, so, so grateful" thing, as I think gratefulness is one, if not the, most important qualities. On that note, things I am grateful for today:

1. said neighbors

2. baby naps

3. laundry mats

4. coffee shops next to said laundry mats

5. sweet, sweet saturday afternoons

loving thy neighbors...

On a lighter note... one of the nice things that came out of the whole fire experience was that we got to move into this sweet, little cottage with some of the worlds very nicest neighbors. Our kids like each other, we like each other... It's a special sort of friendship that only exists when you live in such close proximity. 

Tea Fire

Sounds quaint, doesn't it? The Santa Barbara "Tea Fire" began around 5:45 on Thursday, November 13, 2008. I left our sweet little adobe abode around 5 pm that evening with just my car keys in one pocket and cell phone in the other. I left Chloë with Papa and headed down to our friends house to babysit. We were out on the soccer field near Westmont College and saw, up on the hillside, a small fire at what is known as the Tea Gardens. I called my husband and asked him to bring Chloë and come down to where I was to see it. He turned off the cornbread he had baking in the oven, grabbed Chloë and his backpack (which had a few diapers) and came down to the field... by then the fire had consumed the whole mountain side and was, quite quickly, headed west (towards our house). By about 6:15 we were in his van headed to Montecito to stay with a friend, calling every person we knew the numbers for on the way. By 7 pm we already knew the places on the other side of the hill from us had gone up and were pretty sure ours was gone. We stayed up, watching the news trying to make things light, most of the night. We hardly slept a wink, but when we woke Benny and some friends got some face masks and went up the hill. He took his camera, which happened to be in his backpack, and got the photos you see at the top. The only time I cried was when I saw the one of our place... basically an ash pile. Things you'd expect to see, like the toilet or stone counter tops, were gone... no trace. Then the strangest things, like a piece of a photo or a small tea cup, would be there, only broken. An entire book shelf had all the books there in place and you could see the pages and writing, only if you touched them they would crumble, just ash with type. Almost all of our friends on Mountain Drive, most of our community, lost their homes. Over 200 homes burned that night. We started over, from scratch... really, first we got toothbrushes and toothpaste and then realized we needed soap and underwear and clothes to change into. It was amazing to see all the little things that go into making our "life". We stayed with lovely friends for almost three months, then found the place we live now. So grateful. It's strange not having anything older than 8 months, or so. Friends and family helped to stock us with sentimental things, photos they had, books, things we might save in place of our old treasures. I really can't bear to think of what our life would look like without all the care and compassion of the people we know and some we don't... kindness abounds!

Little Lady Love...

Although when I started this blog I was determined to not have it be just a "mom blog", and also determined to not write about "me, me, me" so much... I, I, I just have to say that my little girl amazes me. She will be 22 months old this weekend... that's another thing I thought I wouldn't do, the "months" thing. It seems like after a year, you should just be able to say the age in years, but it seems like one is too little and two isn't quite right either at this point. So, I suppose this post will be about all the things I am now finding myself doing that I didn't think I would. For instance, I never thought it even possible that I could be a fairly young mom that gets to stay with my baby all day, have a wonderful husband that only works part time and live in Santa Barbara... It's pretty incredible. I am thankful and grateful for this life I get to live everyday. It was when I started to make the conscious effort to do and be the things instead of thinking I never would be. Using that energy I was putting into the thinking and applying it to the actual doing. Anyway, life is nice is the moral of this little story. If there is one lesson, just one, that I could pass on... it will be... you are the artist of your masterpiece. This is it. It is a performance art piece we call "life" and it is your job, and yours alone, to make it spectacular. It is all within your grasp. All in front of you. You are not your past or future, you are now.

you're reading this...

and I'm flattered. I am glad to be you and so glad you're me. Today we are driving south to see grandma. Yesterday I was inspired by a virtual friend (see her amazing blog here) to make a list of things I am grateful for:

Oh so so many things...

1. WATER

2. my loves and ability to love them so completely

3. when friends visit belgium and bring back bricks of dark dark chocolate

4. Letting things just ruminate

5. stillness.

I'll stop at five for the listing, but continue with the gratefulness all day, I promise.

All of a magical friday...

Wednesday evening was spectacular. The mission near our home held an annual "Fiesta" event. It was lit up, the street was closed off to cars and filled with families and fiestaers... The moon was so full and bright it looked like you could reach up and grab it. We saw a giant spider on a beautiful web right outside our gate. Photos did neither the spider, nor the moon any justice. we went to bed all dreamy with the moon and mariachi in our heads. Thursday was mostly about hanging out with beautiful, creative kids. Babysitting and finding new things to keep them entertained and engaged. Most engaging: Tricycle Wash. It's pretty self explanatory, three kids (but can be done with any number) One trike, a bucket of soapy suds, rags, and old toothbrushes (for detailing)... giggles galore. We ended the night with a visit to one of our favorite humans so far on the planet. We sat around his fire and carved stones and talked of Italy and human nature. Besame. Friday (and the meat of the blog) was so magic. Friday mornings are about breakfast with ladies. A group of us get the sunday NYtimes crossword and individually work on it till friday, then we meet at a local cafe and share what we got and steal from the others what we didn't. Between the four (or so) of us, we usually finish it. Also, to start the day with a bowl of oatmeal and all the accoutrements and the best latte in the region. Well, it's a bit bougeois, I suppose, and I love it. Then it was home to my sorely missed baby girl and Papa Bear. They had they're own adventures to share. We then walked down to see a parade for fore-said fiesta. A horse parade. She was amazed. Complete with a runaway horse and carriage, which was a little scary, but exciting too. We walked home in the summer heat and felt so grateful for our little, cool place with ice cold beers. Our girl fell fast asleep and mama (that's me) went to see a movie. A beautiful, feminine, lovely film about cooking and blogging (you can guess) which, inspired me to come home to my lovely family and cook something amazing. So, just using what we had already I made a (every leftover veggie) Pot Pie. Perfected my pie crust! It came out amazing. Some wine, some candle light. Baby went to sleep and Papa and I rounded out the night by cuddling up and watching the Dr. Bonners Magical Soapbox documentary. It was all just exactly right. We all fell asleep with visions of horses and Pot Pies and All One Faith God! Dancing in our heads. 

if it is true that you are what you eat...

Then, to help you to understand what I am, I will post what I eat each day. Plus, I have a sort of strange obsession with cataloguing it all... always and, frankly, my husband is sick of hearing it. Maybe someone in the blogosphere will appreciate it. On a side note: this is the last time I'll ever type the word "blogosphere" (promise)

Breakfast: banana with almond butter, sea salt and honey (as always) and a latte made with almond milk (as usual)

in between: Snapple Peach Iced Tea (which I'm admittedly a little addicted to at this point) P.s. if you are interested in the "cataloguing" of foods, see this

Life B.C. (before Chloë)

Wow. She's only 1 and 3/4 and I can barely remember the way our life went before her... What did I think about? We were married at Burningman... pretty abruptly. We were in love, madly, and silly. We would spend a weekend evening eating a few mushrooms and hiking around the mountain in the dark of night. We would play music till the wee hours of dawn. Wine and friends... care free. When we found out about her we agreed to be her hosts here on Earth... to show her around. We promised that it wouldn't change us if we didn't want it to, and only as much as we wanted it to. The truth is we have changed a lot. We have grown so much in the last year too. For the better. Things seem, somehow, more real than ever before. We think about her first, instead of ourselves. Sadly, also instead of eachother, but I'm sure that will return. Our life has blossomed in the most colorful and spectacular ways. While we couldn't have imagined the responsibility or the vastness of what it means to love someone so much and to care for every hair on their head so greatly that you sometimes can't sleep at night because you just want to watch them breathe... we wouldn't go back... not even for a night. 

Nice to virtually meet you!

Today is Tuesday, August 4, 2009. The only thing especially significant about today, in my world, is that today is the day I decided to start this blog. Attached is a photo of what I looked like a half a minute ago. I will do some "catching up" posts (I think) and then plan on blogging a little each day. Thanks for being interested enough to read this far. More to come...

in the beginning...

O.k... so, I'm blogging. Here it is. What has been "nap" time everyday, will now also be "blog" time for me. What has been about reading other blogs and wanting so badly to share, will now also be about sharing our stories and manifesting instead of so much wanting. My desire to share and openness with all of me will now be available on the world wide web. Here will be my truths... enjoy.