grateFULLness...

1. a house to love in...

2. a street to live on...
3. an amazing kid and husband to live with...
4. really cool parents to share life with...
5. amazing friends to celebrate it all!

one week later, but feels like a lifetime...

This past week was pretty epic. Last time I typed (last Thursday) was rainy and grey and we stayed in all day. Friday was mostly about cozy dryness too... but, Saturday was revolutionary. While Chloe slept, my mom picked me up around 9 am... we headed up the 154 and, with some time and $100 to kill, went to the Chumash Casino. Being that it was only the third time I ever gambled we set some limits. Just one hour and that hundred would be spent. no more. My mom, the master, immediately won another hundred, so we put the first back in her purse and now both had what we walked in with (which is the way to do it)... with the "play money" we went to some other machines and I started winning. It was this hooting owl game and at one point I was up to $740. Totally freaking out and slapping each other on the legs we continued playing. I lost some, but we managed to walk out of there with $600 that we didn't have when we walked in. We were both high on it all the way to San Lois Obispo. We were meeting all the Long Beach ladies and my sister at the Madonna Inn. Click on the name of it if you want to be amazed. That's the room we were in. After the first bottle of champagne, we checked in and ran around our crazy cool room. After a trip to the store and two more bottles of champagne, we found our way to dinner. The whole place is just a trip, so drunk or not, you feel that way. My mom, Sister Sarah, Nicol, Charlie, Kelly, Maria and I make up a pretty fun dinner table. We headed back to the room. Sarah, with six month pregnant belly and my mom went to bed. The rest of us went to the pool. So BEAUTIFUL! That was one of the highlights. We partied till the wee hours and eventually went to bed. My first night since conceiving that I was not next to my sleeping bee... but, it went better than I could have imagined. Ben said she slept through the night and didn't cry once. My little girl is grown. We got back to my house about noonish and picked her up for lunch time with grandma and mama. Then, the three of us headed down to the LBC. My grandma threw my uncle John and I a birthday dinner party at her house Sunday night. Chloe and I stayed at my moms and headed back on the train Monday. Tuesday I turned 31! I awoke to my lovely husband making me a hazelnut latte with little shavings of chocolate truffles on top. He knows the way to my heart. Chloe and I had a cozy day at home while I got little messages of love and well wishes every once in a while. It was super sweet. We met friends for drinks at the brewery around 4ish and went for sushi after. All in all, a really sweet birthday. Yesterday was mostly about coming down from the highs of the week leading up and ending with a trip to the dentist and coming home numb. It was an early night and early morning this morning. Now my girl is napping. I am all blogged up and my man will be home shortly, so, till next type. Peace in your general area;)

dearest reader,

yes, you, reading... how are you? I really would very much like to know (leave a comment) as this rainy, stormy grey cold has us cozied up for the week and I am feeling very disconnected. I haven't typed much only because there are so many feelings and emotions flying around and through me. Lot's of my heart has been in Haiti this past week. Then Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. day and the reflecting of our "society" and what it was and has become and still has to go (i'm afraid). The storm started Monday and has only for moments at a time let up since then. Long enough to get to the store or do laundry's about it. So, my tiny bee and I have been working on two major things: one... the potty, which is working out rather well when we are home or near a good restroom. two... weaning, and I am proud to say "my girl is weaned" done and done. Only, it has been two days of no booby now and I am totally engorged. Some my think it would be fun to have these huge, Jessica Rabbit, extras for a few days, and to those some, I assure you... it is not fun. So I am Ibuprofening and wineing and a little bit of whining, though not much for the discomfort I am in. It's all in a pretty clear perspective and I am feeling really lucky and proud, mostly. My man is home now, from a long night of painting out in the rainy night, so I'm going to go cozy him up too. Thanks for reading, reader. Love and comfort, MC Wifenstein

image is a "booby cake" I made for Chlover for her big step...

Today

just this.

my heart is in Haiti...

Tuesday morning around 9am in Port-au-prince, Haiti a magnitude 7 quake struck killing countless people and leaving an estimated 1/3 of the nation needing aid. We have been watching and listening, impotently, not able to do anything but send modest money, major love and prayers. If I had a way to instantly be there and walk the streets, hold or nurse the babies and console as many as possible... I would. We are only able to watch and weep and wish...

Self-consciousness

I wouldn't call it a preoccupation, but I certainly am aware (all the time, maybe to a fault) of even the smallest of my actions. Trying to anticipate reaction or effect. At least I'm open and honest about it. Here it is in front of you in writing. Maybe a bit narcissistic... perhaps... but, awareness (as far as I am concerned) can't be all bad. Consciousness in any form is better than it's alternative. The only time it ever gets in my way is when I want to say "YES" to an opportunity, but that nagging little voice starts up with the "but, what will they think?"... shhhh, little voice! While it would be nice to gently float through, unseen, ineffective, not making any waves... It would feel really good to make just one big, love-filled, tidal wave! Watch out!

another Monday...

it's still happening... though this particular Monday is particularly beautiful out. Hence, today was mostly about getting outside. Chloe and I, after cleaning and getting ready the house and ourselves, got the "bob" (stroller) and went out and about. I decided it was totally reasonable to walk to this park/playground we normally drive to... I know see why we normally drive there. It's definitely doable, but, It's now 4 something, we just got home, completely sweat soaked (me anyway) and we walked Monday away. Could be that the more I do it, the easier it gets (as with most things)... we will see. Heres what keeps me wanting to do these things...

12th night on the 15th night...

(this photo from last years 12th night)

last night was a hearty feast of reds and candlelight and friends. The annual twelfth night ceremonies and choosing of this years royal court. Duke was chosen as our king and Claire as our queen, with Abe as mayor in place of a royal advisor. There were children running and giggling, the old, the new and the unfamiliar friends. No matter where this event happens, each year, as we all gather, dressed in renaissance attire and manner, it feels the same as it always has. I imagine this is the way it felt back then, only without the occasional reminder of the times, in poem or in ringtone. A feast for the eyes, mind and hearty hearts. I love our community.

North west tripping...

Chloe and I got back yesterday afternoon from a most magical trip. My mom and Mike (stepfather technically, but father all the same) picked us up Wednesday morning. We drove up the coast to highway 1. We stopped for lunch at Pea Soup Anderson's and took photos in the wooden cut outs (american family road trip staple). We stopped in Cambria to see sea otters and walk around the stunning shore. That afternoon we checked in to a recently renovated, beautiful, comfortable hotel were we had attaching rooms so that Chloe and I had two queen beds (fittingly) and Mike and mom had two queen beds. Chloe spent the next few hours running all over it... turning on all the lights, figuring out the heater knobs, getting out Gideon bible and the phone book and general curiosity surrounding the toiletries. That evening we found a really great restaurant my folks had eaten at before.. the Brambles. We ended that day with a creme brulee.. perfect, sweet end to a perfectly sweet day. Thursday we woke, dressed and headed to Hearst Castle

This place is enchanted. You can't help, while walking through the rooms and gardens, but dream of vacationing there and dancing with Charlie Chaplin and having tea with Joan Crawford. With two pockets full Cheerios, Chloe was on her best behavior. We lunched at the information plaza and saw the movie in the theatre. Next we headed up the coast for an up close and personal look at the Elephant seals...

These things seem ancient. It is as if you are witnessing something humans really shouldn't get to see... these private moments between the alpha male and his harem. The mamas, each protecting their new, slimy pup. To show Chloe something so natural and primal was amazing. That afternoon we headed back to our cozy room for an afternoon nap and some, much needed, relaxation. That night we dined at the Sea chest restaurant in Cambria. It was all exactly perfect. We ended that night with creme brulee also.

Friday morning we headed back stopping along the way to see more wildlife and having lunch in Solvang.

tea test...

It may be the greyness of the sky or the pile of laundry that is simply refusing to fold itself while I sip my tea... but, today has me feeling just a bit gloomy. Still forever grateful, and gloomy. The things that, just yesterday, seemed like possibilities, today, seem like huge mountains and I don't have my hiking boots on. With a few strange interactions with, seemingly, not so aware others/strangers... and a little too much self awareness... I am feeling, suddenly, like things that come out of my mouth on a regular basis, 90% of the time, are purely anecdotal and inane. I... I... I... should knock that off. In this new year it would be great to strike that particular letter (when used all alone, anyway) completely from my vocabulary. It would be a true test to take the "I" key and hide it away for awhile.. though, it would leave sentences looking (lookng) rather funny/wrong. Hopefully typing, this is just a mood and as Ben explained to Chloe when she was just a few days old... "these moods pass, they just come and go like a breeze". There is "uplifting" tea steeping in my cup... soon to be sipped... and we'll see just how "uplifting" it is.

This year, so far...

Today, the first monday morning of this new, brilliant year, has me out of the mood of reflection I've been in the last week or so and on to looking forward and now. It all seems so fresh and new. So, I guess it could be said that I am a believer in this calendar and it's story, or else just the energy of everyone else getting this new start on a new chapter. I like the idea of it. The one thing I want to start out with and stay with is the gratefulness. Not to take even one second of this year for granted. So, five things I am grateful for this, sweet morning:

1. seven kinds of cheese in the fridge (this is how we rate our success and seven is very well)

2. wide openness... not a whole lot going on means every possibility

3. an upcoming adventure or two looming off in the distance

4. breath

5. lil bro Foto over there...

hello, 2010!

I'm going to lap up every minute of you like a sop dolly. Five things I have been grateful for (so far) in this new, might I add lovely, year...